What Am I Going to Do with Him?

Chay has become quite the handful now that he is three. Oh, don't believe me? Let the following serve as Exhibit A:

It was my turn to pick up the kids from daycare and I arrived around 5 pm. As I walked passed Chay's room on my way to get Ray, I glanced in the window and saw the teacher reading a book to the class with all the kids sitting quietly around her entranced. There were three boys and one girl, small because it was the end of the day.

I grabbed Ray and her stuff, which took maybe 5 minutes, if that. By the time I returned to Chay's class to get him, two of the little boys are standing on chairs in front of the closet and Chay was on his way to grab his own. The little girl was minding her own business playing with the books. The teacher was no where to be found. By the time the scene soaked in, Chay was up on the chair stretching as high as he could to lock the closet door.

Well, that's odd…so, I asked, "Hey, guys, where's your teacher?"

A knock from inside the closet was my answer.

I should have been horrified that they locked their teacher in the closet, but all I could do was laugh as she sheepishly looked at me when I let her out.

Oh, still don't believe me? How about this one:

Chay and Ray were in the guest bedroom watching a movie one Friday evening snacking on Cheerios. Chay came flying out of the room screaming and trying to blow his nose. I looked up his right nostril and it was red and I could see what looked like a Cheerio jammed up as far as he could get it. Great, but not the end of the world.

I assumed we could dissolve it so we basically water boarded him in an attempt to get it out. As his nose got redder and more swollen, it was harder to see whether the Cheerio was there so we made the assumption he had either inhaled it or it dissolved. He had stopped crying, but it was understandably still tender. He went back to watching the movie and I went back to Facebook.
We watched him over the weekend. He continued to have a tender nose and it sounded like he was still having trouble breathing. Finally, on Monday, I called his pediatrician and scheduled an appointment because clearly something was still wrong. She ended up sending us to an Ear, Nose and Throat doc. We went to that appointment and sure enough, that Cheerio was still up there. Of course, Chay wouldn't let him anywhere near his nose, so we had to schedule surgery so they could put him under. Surgery. For a Cheerio. Classic.

After the surgery, which took all of two minutes, the doctor came out with a funny grin. Turns out that Cheerio was actually a small brown bead that looks like a Cheerio. A $750 bead by the time it was all said and done with.

I'm saving that bead to give him as his 18th birthday present.

Some Battles Are Just Not Worth Fighting

While I was getting ready for the day the other morning, Chay came in waving a placemat at me. D'wha?

Chay: Not a pla'mat it a napkin!

Me: Uhm. Ok.

Chay: No, not OK!!!! It a napkin not a pla'mat!

Me: Baby, if you want to call the placemat a napkin, you go right ahead.

Chay: NOOOOOOO! It napkin not a pla'mat!

Me: Whatever, its a napkin.

Chay: Yeah. That's it.

A Lesson in Facials by Captain Mischievious

Our weekend was spent in Potty Training Boot Camp. It was pretty successful. Chay earned nine, count 'em nine, stickers for peeing on the potty. No poopies on the potty, but we can't expect too much on the first weekend of Boot Camp. (Sorry for the poopy talk. I promise it won't happen again.)

Chay shows off his new sticker

We didn't leave the house often, what with him wearing no pants and all. So Chay decided he was going to teach a lesson on facial expressions...

Mad Face

Happy Face

Power to the People Face

Just my plain ol' Mr. Mischievious Face

Oh, wondering what is all over his face? My eyeliner. His face is nothing compared to what my sheets look like.

She's Quotable.

Ray: "When I was a baby, I saw a rainbow dolphin riding on a rainbow at the beach. I knew she was a girl because she had a tattoo like a fairy on her back."

Uhmmm....... OK.

___________________________

Ray: "Look, its a chick with a pony tail!"

(Referring to a man with a pony tail. He looked at her a little funny.)

___________________________

Ray: "I don't flush the toilet because when I go in the middle of the night I want you to see it and know that I went and tell me 'hey, Ray, did you go potty in the middle of the night? Good job!"

Then later - E: "Ray, tell Mommy why you don't flush the toilet."

Ray: Mmmm...... I don't know.

E: See, I told you it was all crap...

Mickey Fanatic

Ray is on a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse kick. Its all she wants to watch - morning, noon, and night. She cried when E said that I might pick them up from school. You see, I don't have a DVD player in my car. Normally, its a good thing that I'm picking them up. But, no, I've been kicked to the curb for Mickey.

She came up with this game that only girls are allowed to play...

We vote on who has the prettiest clothes on. Winner gets to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Forever. She voted on herself and I voted on me. Funny thing happened. Somehow she won.

Guess who's watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?

Captain Mischievious

The Bull, as we tend to call him more often than not these days, is the King of Mischief.

See that look on his face? That is a classic Chay look meaning, "I'm going to do exactly what you told me not to do 'cuz I think its funny." This picture was taken shortly after we told him that the egg would crack if he dropped it from that height. He dropped it anyway, and guess what happened...the egg cracked and splashed egg coloring vinegar all over the place. Man, he cried after that one. First, he hates broken Easter eggs. And he hates the smell of vinegar all over him even more.

You can't leave The Bull alone anywhere near even potential writing materials...

Found using my mascara

And you certainly can't take your eye off of him when he's painting!

Was he trying to give himself a beard?

The Bull knows that I am deathly afraid of spiders. Today, he hid one of his toy spiders somewhere he knew I would find it in an attempt to scare me. I know this, because moments before I found the (very real looking) spider, he had that classic Chay look. While he was running away from me. Even knowing he was up to something, I screamed at the sight of a huge spider sitting by my computer. Grrrr.

He's a handful, yes. But how could you not love the little Bull?

The (Air)Bus

We recently flew to DC, and it was only the second time Chay has flown. The first time was to fly to the same place for his baptism/1st birthday party, and he doesn't remember that one. We flew JetBlue. The only way to go with kids - free cartoons right in the seats!

We bought him his own seat this time, even though he could have sat on my lap. It would have saved us $300 but it also would have made me crazy being forced to watch cartoons and deal with his wiggly butt on me for 2 1/2 hours. You know what is coming next, right? He sat on my lap the entire time and took a nap for half the trip. Both ways. On the positive side, I was able to watch Ellen while he slept.

While in the airport he was obsessed with the planes. "Its an erplain mommy, its an erplain!"

But when it was time to get on the plane? Not so much. "No, mommy, I don't want to get on the erplain. No erplains, mommy!"

So, being the great parents we are, we told him it was a bus. "Oh. OK, its a bus. Dat OK." Buses, OK. Check. Erplains, not so much.

It took him about a half hour into the flight (both ways, mind you) to realize that we really were on a plane. He would look out the window, see the clouds, and announce loudly enough for the entire plane load of passengers to hear, "Hey, mommy! We not on a bus! We on a erplain! You lied. Bad, mommy!"

He's brilliant, that one. And a tattle tale.

Chay's Joke

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Chay.

Chay who?

Chay wants to come in.

Flippin' brilliant.

Dinosaurs

E taped Jurassic Fight Club on the History Channel for Chay, because he is such a huge dinosaur fan (is there a two year old boy that isn't?). We are watching it right now, and I feel like I am listening to finger nails scraping the chalkboard repeatedly.

If there isn't a dinosaur on the screen, Chay is yelling, "I want the dinosaurs!"

If a dinosaur is on the screen, and it happens to be a small one, we hear, "I want the big dinosaurs!"

If its a big dinosaur, he yells, "ROOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!", directly in your ear. While scratching on you. That feels really nice, by the way.

The show is educational, and I am happy to let him watch educational shows that he finds entertaining.

Oh, wait, I need to take a break from the blog because Chay says, "I want dinosaurs! Dinosaurs, look at that dinosaurs! Moon. I want dinosaurs. Dinosaur! Two dinosaurs. Long dinosaur. I want dinosaurs!"

OK, commercial. Back to the blog.

As I was saying, the show is educational. Apparentally, he has learned what dinosaurs eat -

Chay - Dinosaurs eat.

Me - Dinosaurs eat what?

Chay - Dinosaurs eat cheese.

Me - Did you say dinosaurs eat cheese?

Chay - Yup. Dinosaurs eat cheese. Yummy.

Hmmm. OK. Maybe its not so educational but it sure is entertaining....

A Super Special Secret Surprise

While visiting the Magic Kingdom on a recent weekend with the kids' Godparents and their bestest friend ever, Peanut Butter, a Disney employee stopped the girls to chat. After a few minutes, she asked PB and Ray whether they wanted to come inside one of the shops for an "Extra Special Surprise!" Well, of course, they do, silly. They are 4 and 5 year old girls!

We had a private meeting with Cinderella! And she was just as Princessy as the girls' expected her to be.

Ray's reaction to meeting Cinderella was priceless.

Ray was so excited that every sentence was emphasized with a leg kick and she literally bounced off the walls. She told Cinderella that she loves her Castle, but sorry, her favorite princess is Ariel. Cinderella took that in stride because PB comforted Cinderella by telling her she was her favorite.

Ray and Peanut Butter danced with Cinderella

Chay, however, did not believe that Cinderella was real. His entire visit with her was met with skepticism and boredom. His most exciting time with her was when they listened to the train go by.

Chay and Cinderella listen to the train

PB and Ray, on the other hand, fully believed in her reality and fell instantly in love.

Oh, to be so gullible again...